Tell me why

Phoebe pointed out that I always make decisions that I end up regretting... Why is that? Sometimes I really don't know what I'm thinking. I know what I want in life, I just don't know which is a better way to get there. I know two things I want: Bachelor's Degree in Journalism (hopefully in the UK or local university) and MBA. Just in case my writer thing doesn't work out, I can fall back on business. Hahaha!

Anyway, one of the regrets I made in life was joining drama and netball. -.- I question myself to this very day. Can you believe I actually wanted to leave drama for netball? Thank God Bryanne convinced me to join basketball instead.

One of my regrets include not going to NA in Temasek Secondary or some other better school. I just had to choose Express. I also don't know why so many people look down on NA and MI students. Yeah sure, everyone wants to graduate faster but having an extra year to study the syllabus is like a privilege to me. 4 years for O's and 2 years for A's is too crammed, especially A's. Unless I'm some child prodigy (which I will never be).

I talked to Bryanne earlier today and MI really doesn't seem that bad. In fact, if I had a choice between YJC and MI, I'd pick MI. 3 years for an A level certificate so what? I would have more time to prepare myself and hence all the more I should be able to do better than the normal students.

Anyway, after hearing about MI, I was kinda thinking if I even made the right choice to go poly. :/ I know, now isn't really the time to have second thoughts since I would be having orientation on Monday, but you know, just wondering how life would be like. And I really like to wear uniform. Save myself the headache every morning.

So yeah... I kinda regret not going to MI even though my mom tried to talk me into it the last time... Oh well what can I do?

Actually, I'm totally fine with the modules that my course would be covering. It sounds great! I'm looking forward to learning about the whole myths and legends thing. However, I just don't like how I don't know how the GPA works and how hard it would actually be to get a GPA above 3.5. At least with the A levels, I would be more familiar with their grading system. I know they would probably go through all the poly details during orientation but they should have it earlier so I would know what to expect you know? And if I wanted any transfer I could do so immediately and not wait until freaking April. -.-

Another worry for me in poly would be the irregular timetables. I tend to forget things really easily so it's going to take me a lot of time to get used to the irregularity.

Poly is also more of application I think whereas studying for A's would just be mugging. Since I just ended my O's, so I'm still in a mugging mood and I kinda would like to continue with the whole mugging thing.

For some lucky people like those in the science course, you can actually study and mug for the exam. For me, how am I going to study writing? I don't even know where to start.

The biggest concern of mine would be university applications. A levels are internationally recognized and since I plan to go overseas to study, I don't really know if they would accept my diploma... And I'm very worried about that. Also I would need to get a really high GPA to apply for local university and I don't think I'm that smart so I guess getting accepted into a local university would need a miracle.

Since writing is my dream, if I don't do well, it would crush me like a berry. I'd be force to give up my dream and perhaps drop out of poly and start to take A levels and try to get into law school or something. -.- Life is sad. I am so weird. Most people drop out of A levels to go to poly and I'm dropping out of poly to go take A's. I'm just saying if I have a horrendous GPA and can't go anywhere.

I'm not going to look so far into the future because things never ever go as planned. My whole path of scoring 5 for O's and heading to VJC then going to University of Exeter or applying for Exeter's foundation studies totally did not work out.

1) I missed VJC's cut off by a mile (I expected it though I had hoped to do a lot better)
2) I didn't meet the requirements for the foundation. I WAS THIS CLOSE. Damn you bio. If you were an A, I wouldn't be in this position now. (I'm hella stupid, right? -.-)

And again, I've gotten something I never planned on getting in the first place. I remember how I've never considered poly and here I am waiting for orientation. Life is so unpredictable. Oh well, at least I'll still be doing something I like and hopefully it wouldn't be a dream crusher.